"I thought that I knew all that there was to Lonely, lonely, lonely eyes, Lonely face, lonely lonely in your place."
-Tom Waits

its just no good
this tenacious need
its torturing my heart
i am not lovable, not because i am no good, but because i will not allow it
i am impossible with or without you
your reassurances placate me temporarily
but i will resume my punishment
i am mummified in hate and anger, shame and fear
what makes me think this will be any different?
i am no better, i am just a liar - a fool

i am tired of existing this way
fighting to remain constant
i lose the battle every time

this limbo, this purgatory
this disgusting existence
i bathe in this swamp every day
and today i am just going to stay